How to deal with a teenager who refuses to heed your advice and continue to do bad things? Teenagers often disobey their parents as their brain works differently. They want to be independent as it is the phase of their neurodevelopment. Hormonal changes make them anxious. Their brain is adventurous and not easy to understand, it is like work-in-progress which is messy, irritable and grumpy.
Teenagers are struggling daily with ample things around them such as exams, project submissions, bullying, competitions, obsession with their bodies, puberty, parents, friends and peer pressure.
Teens do not like much interference in their lives, they want to take charge of their own life. Let them do but guide them from a distance. We as parents can advise them about the pros and cons of every situation and help them to shape their future. Here are a few tips on how to deal with a teenager.
8 Tips for how to deal with a teenager:
Discuss their friends
- It is important to know the friends of your children, be it any age.
- Keep talking and meeting their friends by often inviting them to group studies or just to have a snack.
- Talk to your children about their bad company (if any) patiently.
- Talk at the time when both of you are not defensive, tired or angry.
- Encourage your teen to think about how his friends are affecting him or his life.
- They need to understand if their studies or health is getting affected by being with the bad company.
Work out on the negative peer pressure
- If your teenager is under peer pressure, ask him to think if it is positive or negative peer pressure.
- Ask him if he agrees that he is under negative peer pressure.
- If he wants to resist or give in to the peer pressure.
- Teach him decision-making skills.
- Help him to know the pressures he faces.
- Guide him to weigh the pros and cons of giving in to peer pressure.
Resist the pressure
- If he agrees and wants to do something about the negative peer pressure, help him to solve the problem.
- Identify the situations for what his friends are exerting pressure on him.
- Discuss the actions he can take in those situations.
- Help him to choose the best course of action.
- Let him carry out the action wisely.
- Follow up and evaluate the outcome of the action which he took to resist the pressure.
Voice out the opinion
- When he does not agree with a particular behavior of his friend, he needs to voice out his opinion.
- Do not give consent by remaining silent, speak up and resist.
- He should voice out his opinion calmly.
- It is important to stand by the opinion.
Learn to say “No”
- If he disagrees with his friends, he should say “No” firmly.
- Help him to practice the art of saying “No” to all the negative requests his friends make.
- Be confident of resisting the pressure.
- Tell him to flee from an undesirable situation, it is the most sensible act.
- It is okay to flee from the danger, it does not make him a coward.
Continue to talk to your teenagers
- If your teen disagrees that he is not under any negative peer pressure and you can sense it is there, continue to talk with him.
- Ask him or rather invite him to share his views, why he thinks he is not under negative peer pressure.
- Listen to him patiently.
- Do not interrupt or pass any judgments.
- Share your own views, but do not fight or pressurize to change.
- If he still follows the crowd, advise him of the consequences.
- Tell him to take responsibility for his actions.
- Let him pay himself for his mistakes and learn from them.
Do not give up
- If you are discouraged and want to give up, please give it a thought about other things that you could do.
- Evaluate yourself and your actions.
- Decide the ways which are helpful and which are not.
- Stop the actions which are not helpful and continue with the helpful ones.
- You need to review and revise your expectations with your teenager.
- If you have set the expectations too high or unrealistic, revise them.
- Lower your expectations and make them realistic by keeping in mind the generation gap.
Seek professional help
- You can attend seminars or workshops on parenting.
- Take your teenager with you for the counseling.
- Read more books about the behavior and psychology of children or teenagers.
Do not consider yourself as a failure. You are concerned about your child and still the best person who can influence him. You know well how to deal with a teenager. Just wait for the right moment and help him to shape his future.
Havev more tips to add to how to deal with a teenager? Please share your tips on how to deal with a teenager with us in the comments section below.
Wish you a very Happy Teenage Parenting!