Every child is different. No child in this universe is born with the same mind and body. Even the twins look the same but their personalities are different from each other. Each child is unique in his/her own way so, it is not apt to compare your child with others.
In today’s educated world, people still draw comparisons – be it looks, education, activities, health or any other thing. Sometimes it made me think that our kids are not human beings, as if they are some gadgets when people ask what is your child doing? In what activities he or she is good at? As if they are asking for features like we do look at when we buy mobile phones or cars. But it is a human’s basic nature. The comparisons which people do are worthless and it should not affect the child in any way.
It is not only our society but also our own family members do comparisons. So, the comparisons could be internal or with the external environment. Generally, family members do compare your child with your sister’s or brother’s children on the basis of facial features, complexion, height, etc. How they compare your child and on what parameters should not affect your parenting.
What happens when you compare your child?
Comparisons can bring negative effects on a child’s growth and development. This not only affects the child but also parents in one way or the other. It forces parents to think ‘Am I, not a good parent or not doing enough for my child?’
- The lack of confidence in this situation leads to persuasive parenting.
- The self-doubt will lower the self-esteem and the child might also feel the same.
- It might spoil the relationship between parents and child.
- The child will grow in a negative environment which might hamper his growth.
How one can avoid comparisons?
- Always remind yourself that comparisons will be there, the parents will be judged every time for every action. But as a parent, you can keep your child away from such an environment and keep yourself motivated.
- Comparisons and competitions are a way of life. Do not get hampered by it, always take one step ahead of it.
- It’s always better to focus on what do you have and on what you are already blessed with. Think about how lucky you are to have a child.
- All of us have some weaknesses, do not get panic. Instead of looking at weaknesses ask yourself what your strengths are as a mother and apply the same to your child.
- Be proud of your child. Celebrate every moment with your child!
As we all know, no one is perfect but sometimes emotionally we feel sad when we try to reach perfection. Every mother wants to see her child to be good and the best. But it’s ok if you don’t reach perfection. Always learn to stay happy in life and teach your child the Science of Happiness. Keep trying to improve yourself as a mother and to understand the same logic of life for your child.
Parenting styles are always different for everyone and we can’t compare one to another. Mothers will only learn by doing it themselves. Life of a mother is not a comparison rather it’s a journey. One will never have enough and there will always be a desire for more and more. It’s a never-ending cycle so, be positive. Instead, learn to realize that what your child has is enough, be good with that. One day you will find contentment.
|Author: Richa AG | Mommy Blogger | SAHM|
Have more points to add to why you should not compare your child with others? Please share with us in the comments section below.
Wish you a very Happy Parenting!