Parenting is ‘Patience‘. For some, it might sound like ‘Frustration‘ yet the voyage from Frustration to Patience isn’t a simple one. You need to be loving, persistent and enthusiastic for your kids. Sometimes, we lose our temper when we can’t satisfy our own particular desires and yell. This makes us spill out our frustration through yelling at kids.
Kids learn from us, they follow us. So the way we want our kids to behave, we should set the same standards for ourselves first. What we will show to them will have much impact on them rather what we will say or teach them.
We all try to be perfect but it is okay to feel emotions sometimes and express. It is impractical to expect you and your kid to be angelic in each circumstance. It is normal to get irritated, lose temper, discouraged and depleted when it is hard to deal with the kids.
In any case, if we burst out and shout at them and don’t control the circumstance, the circumstance will just intensify and will affect the parent-child relationship seriously. Even if you lose your mind in anger, don’t lose your heart and regret later.
Constant arguments, daily battles, shouting and yelling at kids can drain them. It will be extremely tough for parents and kids to come out of the situation. Kids also have negative states of mind and extremely passionate reactions as we adults have. However, they too have their own particular capacities and qualities. By understanding them better and finding out about their temperament, we can tackle them better.
Yelling at kids is not the solution to handle the situation. Your children will not learn a lesson if you yell at them rather they will learn that yelling is a way to prove their point across. They will follow this for the rest of their life. Instead, try different ways to stop yelling at kids.
Impacts of Persistent Yelling at Kids
- Kids begin considering themselves to be insignificant and lose self-confidence.
- They become frightful and avoid to connect with relations.
- They become aggressive and short-tempered.
- The lack of focus and concentration is another issue with kids who have been yelled at often.
Here what you can do after you yell at your kids:
- Stop yelling at kids, take a pause to understand the situation. Take a deep breath and focus on your breathing to calm down.
- Tell your kid that you need a moment to calm down. It will also show them that after getting upset, we can calm down easily.
- Apologize to your kid for yelling. Say sorry and tell them you shouldn’t have yelled.
- Give your kid a hug and a kiss. Remind him that you love him.
- Explain the situation, what made you yell.
- Reconnect with your kid by saying that you did not like to yell but the situation made you do that.
- Tell your kid that you don’t have a problem with the kid but the circumstance.
- Once you are calmed and your kid has understood the reason behind your yelling, get back to the solution. Make a way out to tell him what he could do instead of telling him what not to do.
- Divert his mind from the situation as he is blank after you yelled. If your kid was drawing on a wall that made you yell, tell him that he could have drawn on a book instead of the wall. Take out and provide him the book to draw or color.
- Encourage him what he is doing now and appreciate with a smile that he obeyed you. Hugs and kisses always end up in a win-win situation.
Remember your Childhood
Remember that it is a long journey and everyone is bound to make mistakes. Go back to your childhood when you used to create a mess. The best way is to learn from your mistakes and move on.
At times it is fine to yell if your child is in danger or if there is an emergency. Here, your yelling would only stop them to get hurt. Later on, you can follow the above ways after yelling at kids. But if you consistently yell at your kids, they will become habitual of your yelling. And yelling won’t help even in an emergency situation. Try to save your yelling only for particular situations when there is a high need.
Have more tips to add that worked for you and your kid to recover after yelling at kids? Please share with us in the comments section below.
Wish you a very Happy and Loveable Parenting!