Parenting is a rope-walk where you need to maintain a balance between indulgence and child discipline. We need to learn how to discipline kids before teaching them discipline.
Parents everywhere want to give their children whatever they can provide the best. At times we set standards for ourselves which in turn pushes us to force our children to reach those standards. Here we need to introspect and rectify our behavior. Children misbehave at times as it is normal and natural. Before we see how to discipline kids, let’s know the principles of child discipline.
Principles of Child Discipline:
- Rules should be clear and firm so that your children know what is expected of them.
- Rules should be modified and reviewed in the time according to the child’s growing needs.
- Parents should manage their child and take control so that children could not manipulate them often.
- In the child’s presence, parents should not fight as children might take advantage of frequent disputes.
- Parents should agree among themselves first regarding the family rules and decide the consequences if the rules are broken.
Considerations of Child Discipline:
- Avoid referring to your child’s past mistakes and try to deal with the present situation, otherwise, it may impose guilt on him and it will become a form of nagging always.
- Always deal with the behavior and not the child. Tell him that you have a problem with the situation and not the child. This is one of the important aspects of how to discipline kids.
- Do not put the child down by labeling him like lazy, stupid or dumb. It will lower his self-confidence.
- Point out specifically the behavior that is not acceptable.
- Discipline should be meted out at the right time but not with anger. Right timing strengthens the effect of how to discipline kids.
- Reconcile and connect with your child after taking the disciplined action. Let him know that you love him unconditionally despite the circumstances.
How to Discipline Kids – TRIPS Approach
Here is the TRIPS approach of how to discipline kids:
- Talking – Whenever your child misbehaves or does something wrong, take out time to talk to him calmly. Make him understand that he has broken the rule which is not acceptable. Ask him what was the correct behavior expected of the family and what are the consequences of breaking the rule. Also, tell him what he could do to correct the mistake.
- Rewarding – You can reward your child for his good behavior but it should not be materialistic always. Good behavior is reinforced by praising them often, noting down the good behavior by giving them stars or smileys on their performance pinboard. Once they achieve the required number of points, they will get a gift or a treat.
- Isolating – Sometimes we need to isolate the child from the situation to regain the control. You can put the child away like standing in a corner or staying alone in a room until he agrees to behave properly. But it should be for a short time and not for too long. And of course, reconciliation should be followed thereafter. It is necessary to reassure the child that you love him.
- Penalizing – The two main forms of penalties are imposing responsibilities and deprivation. For older children, you can give them extra chores such as cleaning the mess they have done. Deprivation refers to the withdrawal of privileges such as no TV or games.
Every Child is Unique
Every child has a unique temperament and it is important to respond accordingly. It is also important to reflect your own insecurities and unreasonable expectations before learning how to discipline kids. You should not push your child harder unreasonably and become over strict. Once the fear of failure is evoked in a child, it might spoil his formative years. Let him do the mistakes and learn from them as we did in our childhood.
Make it clear that you are parents first and then their friends. Being over lenient makes them aggressive and unreasonable. On the other hand, being non-interactive or over strict will keep them away from you out of your fear. Parents need to understand that the peer pressure which they have faced has changed with the time for their children. So you cannot expect the same solutions which worked for you during your own childhood. Try to instill principles, values, and ethics at an early age.
Have more tips to add to how to discipline kids that worked for you and your kids? Please share with us in the comments section below.
Wish you a very Happy and Disciplined Parenting!