Self Confidence is something that can be developed through experiences of having mastered different skills.
Our children often see themselves from our point of view. Their self-confidence depends a lot on what we say to them and does with them.
A self-confident child believes that he is able to solve his problems, he is not discouraged by his failures. On the other hand, a child who has little Self Confidence would be discouraged by many difficulties and often think that he is not liked.
To boost our children’s Self Confidence, we must be self-confident first. Here are some tips for adults:
- Make a list of things which you like about yourself and what have you achieved till now. Feel those emotions to develop and boost your confidence. It can be anything about yourself, say, I like my hair, I have good friends, I am proud because I am a good mother/father, I can make people laugh, etc. These are the things which makes you a valuable human being.
- Shift your focus from negative things to positive things. Feel happy in every situation – be it bad or good. Focus on good results and learn from bad results. Even the worst situations give you an experience or a lesson. Train your mind to see the glass ‘half full’ instead of ‘half empty’.
- Be proud of being yourself with a confident body language. Raise your body as if your head is pulled by a string from the sky, shoulders should be back. Maintain eye contact while communicating, do not look down or here and there. Look into the eyes of the other person (if you are not comfortable, look at the eyebrows but not the forehead).
- Smile with an open mind. Become comfortable and friendly. Do not force yourself to smile or just to impress the other person. Smile to express yourself from within. It will definitely boost your confidence.
- Improve daily social interactions. Go to the edge of your comfort zone and try to do something daily that scares you a bit. Reinforce it positively, approach people gradually and interact with them.
- Communicate with charisma and confidence. Observe people around you how they are communicating. Learn from your role models as success leaves clues.
- Never undervalue yourself and come out of the self-doubt. Leave the fear of not being good enough. Visualize your success in your brain and move ahead. Repeatedly say ‘I can do it’ – it is a powerful statement which helps you to ignore negative vibes around you.
- Forget the fear of failure. Do not use the word ‘failure’ call it ‘result’. You get the result, it can be good or bad. Getting failed will not decrease your value, it teaches you to get better. Take action and express yourself freely. Take it as a learning experience.
- Forget the fear of rejection. If you are being rejected, it is not your fault. The other person is not rejecting you but rejecting your approach (it is not a dead end). Learn from it and move ahead by improving yourself. You will have more opportunities which would be better than this. If you are rejected now, it was not in your control. You can’t do anything about it except improving yourself. Try to do better next time.
Time to Boost Your Child’s Self Confidence:
- Involve in your child’s life – To understand his strengths and weaknesses, you need to get involved in his activities. You can guide him, encourage him and provide emotional support. Talk to him about his school life, friends, teachers, classmates. Find time to discuss his ambition, dream, and interests.
- Keep positive atmosphere in family – You need to show your Self Confidence. Praise and respect each other and be thankful for them. Give appreciation even for small things they have done for you.
- Stop looking into perfectionism every time – Teach them optimism, it will boost their confidence. Perfectionists are usually unhappy as they always look themselves from other’s point of view. Help your child to handle his feelings of failure, teach them how to deal with these situations. Talk about your past setbacks, discuss how you were troubled and came out of the situation.
- Separate a particular troublesome behavior from your child – Tell him that he is not the problem, but his behavior is the problem. Find ways together to overcome that habit.
- Grow in your child’s mind the healthy thoughts – Differentiate between feel good and feel bad thoughts. Encourage him to focus more on feel-good thoughts and repeat them. For example, if he says ‘Nobody likes me’ tell him ‘Some people do like you’. If he says ‘I will always have this problem’ tell him ‘Things will change sooner or later. You can try to make it better’.
- Teach problem-solving skills to your child – When your child makes mistakes, talk with him if he has any feelings of regret. Be patient, do not rush to solve the problem, encourage him to seek help from you if required. Guide him to handle a similar situation in future by talking about what he could or should have done differently.
- Celebrate the success – When parents feel pride in a child’s abilities, it is the most satisfying thing for a child. Avoid constant reminders of the past mistakes. Do not highlight child’s mistakes too much, it would only hurt his self-confidence. Never overlook your child’s success, your praise would only add up to his self-confidence and boost it every time.
Help your child to make him feel that he is truly the most important person in your eyes.
Have more tips on raising self confidence that worked for you and your child? Please share with us in the comments section below.
Wish you a very Happy and Confident Parenting!